Today was a day last year in my life when someone really special entered my life & within 4 months left me alone with the same speed as with the speed that person came in my life. So yes I miss that person a lot today & yes I wish I could have that time back but wishes, wishes & nothing more I am left with.
I DO NOT celebrate this day... You know why? Coz my own love is not lesser than anyone so why should I celebrate my love with someone else’s name? Anyhow a single day is never enough to express myself. I would need a complete life to do it. So yes, this day is not meant for me. I should create a day with either my name or her but can’t use her name so let it be MIB’s day someday in life.
The month has been strange. I just could not get out of my health problems. Everyday a new pain pops-up in my body. Neck pain, shoulder pain, headaches & more to come. Guess I am getting old. A friend of mine did tell me to get every part cut off that hurts. Well! If I start following that advice, soon I will be left with nothing in me. Ah! Great friends I have :)
My mom is now in Pakistan & she has landed in the next corner of the country so next week I am planning for a week long visit to Sindh (Tando Adam). Still have not decided the exact date but hopefully Sunday or Monday I might start my journey. I will be meeting her after almost 7 years. The last time I saw her was in Saudi Arabia when I left that country & the last moment I had with her was a hug while I kissed her forehead. Soon I will hug her again & will kiss her too. I am excited & sad at the same time. It will be very hard this time to say good bye again. So I really don’t know how I will leave her & how I will start my journey back to my current city. I will be meeting my relatives as well & I’m sure I will be facing too many questions in shape of complaints that will be hard for me to answer. So yes a bit scared too from the questions but I want to test myself if I will be able to answer them or not.
24 hours long journey with me & my loneliness would be boring again. The only problem is that I do not get along with the passengers too much as I love to stay in silence & I do not talk to them. Most of the time I only smile in an answer or a very short answer they get from me. I don’t like sharing my thoughts, my feelings or my info with others that I don’t know as I do not intend to make them friends for life. Come to think of it, in my whole life till now I only made 6-7 friends so this proves how social I am. Sometimes I really wonder how the hell on the internet I act as totally a different person. Well! Guess I would never know coz so far no body answered that and how could they? I never asked them…
Monday, February 14, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
DAY 645
Yesterday something really strange happened. I was on my way to the office on my bike when I got myself involved in an accident. Oh! No no this is not strange. Strange is yet to come. So I broke a tail light of a vehicle with the help of my bike. The driver came out in anger & tried to take the keys of my bike & the minute he did that, I said to him that do you think I am planning to run away. So he changed his plans. So I asked him to come at the side of the road & let’s talk. I accepted my mistake & asked him how much will the cover of the light will cost. He looked at me & told me that he doesn’t know. I told him that my office is nearby, come & send me the invoice & I will pay for it. The next minute he said as you have accepted your mistake, let it go & he walked away. I kept watching him in shocked & he left. I was with my friend so I asked him what the hell just happened & he was in the same situation of shock. Now when he stepped out of his vehicle he was in anger so now what happened is a mystery & yes this was strange.
Today I again nearly escaped another accident. Guess someone is really praying for my safety. She could be my mother or maybe some who deeply love me. So thank u who ever you are.
My blogs are again not being imported on Facebook & this problem keeps popping up every few months down the road. So now it is usual for me & hopefully I will be fixed soon by FB.
These blogs are somehow really a good thing for me. I even know what my feelings exactly last year were. On 10 of Feb 2010, I was happy. I was free. I was like flying in the sky like a free bird. That day I never knew why I was feeling that but today I know why. I found someone very special in my life & that was the reason but today I don’t feel anything like this. You know why? Because I somehow have lost that same person in my life. I wish I could take the time back & I wish I could feel that same happiness that same passion to live. I wish I could meet that person again & I could start it all over again & again in the same pattern but unfortunately I just can’t. Once time is gone is gone.
My Mom just called me & told me that she is now in Pakistan and she is in Tando Adam. I will be now planning to visit Sindh so I can meet my Mom after almost 7 years. Oh! I'm excited & sad at the same time coz after meeting her, how could I come back leaving her again...
Today I again nearly escaped another accident. Guess someone is really praying for my safety. She could be my mother or maybe some who deeply love me. So thank u who ever you are.
My blogs are again not being imported on Facebook & this problem keeps popping up every few months down the road. So now it is usual for me & hopefully I will be fixed soon by FB.
These blogs are somehow really a good thing for me. I even know what my feelings exactly last year were. On 10 of Feb 2010, I was happy. I was free. I was like flying in the sky like a free bird. That day I never knew why I was feeling that but today I know why. I found someone very special in my life & that was the reason but today I don’t feel anything like this. You know why? Because I somehow have lost that same person in my life. I wish I could take the time back & I wish I could feel that same happiness that same passion to live. I wish I could meet that person again & I could start it all over again & again in the same pattern but unfortunately I just can’t. Once time is gone is gone.
My Mom just called me & told me that she is now in Pakistan and she is in Tando Adam. I will be now planning to visit Sindh so I can meet my Mom after almost 7 years. Oh! I'm excited & sad at the same time coz after meeting her, how could I come back leaving her again...
Thursday, February 10, 2011
DAY 644
After a long 3-4 days of neck & shoulder pain I now do feel a bit better but the pain still remains with me. Guess me & pain have a very strong bonding coz I accept the pain & the pain understands me. Most of the time I am the one who is compromising in this relation but to maintain a relation, sometimes we have to. That is one reason me & pain still have a very strong relation.
Another long gap from the blog & I do hate this. The only reason is that I sometimes feeling not writing anything or sometimes due to lack of time I could not write.
Tuesday was a good start as in the morning I received a call from my favorite singer dear Aamir Saleem. Really enjoyed talking to him & I really do enjoy every moment when we talk. So Love you Aamir Bhai. The nice thing was that he actually liked & was happy when he called me & heard his own singing voice as my caller tune.
14th of Feb is not far & this date was never important in my life before since last year. I actually found someone special on this date & that person is still very dear to me & will always be. Although that person is no more in my life the way was before but I can still that person around so I will alone celebrate this date with my memories. I know that person would not have time for me anymore but no worries as important & VIP people are always busy.
20th of Feb & three birthdays I have to wish. One of them is my dear Aamir Saleem. Other is my friend & last one is my family member so I plan to enjoy that day with family & hope we will have a great time.
For the past few days I had been in different sorts of arguments with some of my friends. Due to those arguments I even did ended some relations. Well! Honestly I have an attitude problem & I was already in the process of pain so my anger level was high so due to that some arguments did turnout bad. The main argument was with some admins of a page on Facebook. We had 8 admins on the page & non of them was giving time to the page & everyone had strange reasons. So I did start the argument & now 2 of them have left the page. I have decided not to request them to come back & the reason is that what is the use of keeping their name on the page when they don’t even do a thing on the page. Anyway I did not ask them to leave & I am not the creator of the page so it is now up to them & the creator. By the way both of them used to call me brother & if this is what they have a value for this relation then I don’t want them to call me by this relation.
Another long gap from the blog & I do hate this. The only reason is that I sometimes feeling not writing anything or sometimes due to lack of time I could not write.
Tuesday was a good start as in the morning I received a call from my favorite singer dear Aamir Saleem. Really enjoyed talking to him & I really do enjoy every moment when we talk. So Love you Aamir Bhai. The nice thing was that he actually liked & was happy when he called me & heard his own singing voice as my caller tune.
14th of Feb is not far & this date was never important in my life before since last year. I actually found someone special on this date & that person is still very dear to me & will always be. Although that person is no more in my life the way was before but I can still that person around so I will alone celebrate this date with my memories. I know that person would not have time for me anymore but no worries as important & VIP people are always busy.
20th of Feb & three birthdays I have to wish. One of them is my dear Aamir Saleem. Other is my friend & last one is my family member so I plan to enjoy that day with family & hope we will have a great time.
For the past few days I had been in different sorts of arguments with some of my friends. Due to those arguments I even did ended some relations. Well! Honestly I have an attitude problem & I was already in the process of pain so my anger level was high so due to that some arguments did turnout bad. The main argument was with some admins of a page on Facebook. We had 8 admins on the page & non of them was giving time to the page & everyone had strange reasons. So I did start the argument & now 2 of them have left the page. I have decided not to request them to come back & the reason is that what is the use of keeping their name on the page when they don’t even do a thing on the page. Anyway I did not ask them to leave & I am not the creator of the page so it is now up to them & the creator. By the way both of them used to call me brother & if this is what they have a value for this relation then I don’t want them to call me by this relation.
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