My internet home connection is still not working & my family thinks that it’s all coz of me but hey I am not a technical person or the service provider. I’m also a victim of no connectivity. I call them everyday but I hate my good part in me. Every time I decide I will be harsh with them but I end-up finishing the call in a funny & yes taunting manner. Oh GOD! This taunt is actually in me now. I think I got it from my mom.
10 more days & then I will be in Karachi. Yes! I am excited as I have lots of plans & I really hope all work fine. It will be a long & tiring journey but it will be an exciting adventure but unfortunately this time all alone as no one to accompany me through my journey but no worries. Sometimes you have to do things all by yourself. I have heard that the weather is to hot there but I was born in desert so that will not disturb me.
For a past few days lots of tension in my life & things kept changing like commercials during a program. I wonder why when everything is going on smooth, things start going all wrong. Well! This is my life. Everyday is boring then suddenly everyday is tensed & then back to the boring part.
Someone pointed out one of my previous blogs to me & when I read it today myself, oh! I actually wrote in extreme anger. I did say sorry to that person. The thing is that, when I’m in pain, anger or even happiness, I just share it on the blog. I mostly don’t share it with people around me. Why? It has been more than 5 years & I kept things to myself & somehow it converted into a habit of mine of not sharing feelings.
Another unknown person started sending me poetry today & now we are friends. This is the second unknown mobile friend of mine in the same month. I have no idea what’s going on but I don’t mind. It’s just a mobile friendship & not meeting them in person. Both of them sent me some really nice piece of poetry so this is the nice part & strangely both of them got impressed from me through my SMS.
Yesterday an SMS actually changed me & made me decide that I should not give up that easily in life. I have a power with me & that power can help me win. So yesterday I decided that I will win my aim no matter what because the power I have can help me through every phase of life & the support I have is enough for me to survive every pain. Thank u dear friend for sending me that SMS. May you always be happy…
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
DAY 315
Had to wakeup early today. Ok! It was 10am but come on that was almost early. Our previous office colleague invited us on lunch as she wanted us to share the happiness of her new born baby boy & MashaAllah the boy is really cute. So in order to be there, had to wake up that early, had to take a bath & be there in time. Well! Almost in time. So it was me & my friend who reached her house first & then others came. So almost everyone was there except one & I don’t have to mention who coz it’s useless. So we had some good time chatting & some bad pics taken. I don’t appear good in pictures so I avoid cameras. The food was really nice. We had Chicken, Egg Koftas, Rice, Zarda & soft drinks. The menu was nice but the Koftas were really tasty.
Me & my friend had to be in the office before 02pm but we were late coz my friend was not leaving the food & he wanted to have all of it. When it comes to food, he eats like he’s having it for the last time. So coz of my eating buddy, we got 30mins late in the office but it was all a good experience & nice to be part of it as no one asked us why we were late.
My internet at home is not working since yesterday & this is really annoying. Not connecting to the world on internet produces a feeling that I’m being cutoff with the world out there.
Yesterday an old friend of my mine called me & complained that I did not inform him regarding my upcoming trip to Karachi. He is currently living there & he read my blog & found it out. Wow! So people are reading my blogs. I thought I was just speaking to myself most of the time. First I would like to thank him for reading the blogs & secondly I would like to thank him again for actually respecting & loving me this much & asking me to stay with him in Karachi. For his love, I would stay with him. He & I, we both lived in Saudi Arabia (Jeddah) & had some really good memories together. I actually love & respect every member of his family. I still remember when my father had a heart attack that night at almost 3am, it was his father that was there with me during the journey to the hospital & it was his father’s car in which my father died while he was in my arms & his head was on my shoulder. His father stayed with me till 7:30am next morning & I can never thank me up to the level he helped me that day.
Me & my friend had to be in the office before 02pm but we were late coz my friend was not leaving the food & he wanted to have all of it. When it comes to food, he eats like he’s having it for the last time. So coz of my eating buddy, we got 30mins late in the office but it was all a good experience & nice to be part of it as no one asked us why we were late.
My internet at home is not working since yesterday & this is really annoying. Not connecting to the world on internet produces a feeling that I’m being cutoff with the world out there.
Yesterday an old friend of my mine called me & complained that I did not inform him regarding my upcoming trip to Karachi. He is currently living there & he read my blog & found it out. Wow! So people are reading my blogs. I thought I was just speaking to myself most of the time. First I would like to thank him for reading the blogs & secondly I would like to thank him again for actually respecting & loving me this much & asking me to stay with him in Karachi. For his love, I would stay with him. He & I, we both lived in Saudi Arabia (Jeddah) & had some really good memories together. I actually love & respect every member of his family. I still remember when my father had a heart attack that night at almost 3am, it was his father that was there with me during the journey to the hospital & it was his father’s car in which my father died while he was in my arms & his head was on my shoulder. His father stayed with me till 7:30am next morning & I can never thank me up to the level he helped me that day.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
DAY 313
A very close & special person in my life is not feeling well. I just pray to Allah that the person may start feeling well very soon. Readers of my blog, you are kindly requested to pray.
Last Sunday my family & my buddy, we joined for lunch & had a nice time. Had Chicken plao with Kababs, Kheer & yes not to forget the ice-cream. After a very long time I went out with my family. I think almost after 2-3 months. After the lunch my friend left us so we decided to visit Monument. A very nice & beautiful place. You start feeling there that you are not in Pakistan. It seems like you are in some other country. The way that area is designed is really fantastic. This was my forth visit to that place & I have some memories there as well. I wonder why these keep following me every where I go but the good thing is that the memories are the nice ones not the bad ones.
My UK boss is so cheap in making decisions. It has been more than a week now & he is unable to make a simple decision of yes or no for my friend if he can have a day off so he can come along with me to my very soon visit to Karachi. I wish who ever made him the boss could have taken more & more years on this decision if to make him the boss or not. How many seconds you need to say yes or no for one simple decision? I wonder how he got married. You have to say yes in front of all at that moment too. He must have said let me think about it & must have taken a year or so.
Nowadays I do try to write everyday but somehow I fail in this. I do have lot to write but I just can’t write everything here as some things are not meant to be shared. So I do skip a few days & then write but I really want to write everyday.
A girl in the office who was pregnant is now a mother of a cute child. She has invited all the office staff to her house for lunch on upcoming Thursday. I have seen the cute boy in the pics. Now it would be interesting to see the new born in my hands. I love kids coz when they are around, I act as a kid myself but I like kids that are innocent. The ones that are not, I avoid them. Otherwise they start avoiding me :). Why? Ah! Now that’s a secret that I can’t share…
Last Sunday my family & my buddy, we joined for lunch & had a nice time. Had Chicken plao with Kababs, Kheer & yes not to forget the ice-cream. After a very long time I went out with my family. I think almost after 2-3 months. After the lunch my friend left us so we decided to visit Monument. A very nice & beautiful place. You start feeling there that you are not in Pakistan. It seems like you are in some other country. The way that area is designed is really fantastic. This was my forth visit to that place & I have some memories there as well. I wonder why these keep following me every where I go but the good thing is that the memories are the nice ones not the bad ones.
My UK boss is so cheap in making decisions. It has been more than a week now & he is unable to make a simple decision of yes or no for my friend if he can have a day off so he can come along with me to my very soon visit to Karachi. I wish who ever made him the boss could have taken more & more years on this decision if to make him the boss or not. How many seconds you need to say yes or no for one simple decision? I wonder how he got married. You have to say yes in front of all at that moment too. He must have said let me think about it & must have taken a year or so.
Nowadays I do try to write everyday but somehow I fail in this. I do have lot to write but I just can’t write everything here as some things are not meant to be shared. So I do skip a few days & then write but I really want to write everyday.
A girl in the office who was pregnant is now a mother of a cute child. She has invited all the office staff to her house for lunch on upcoming Thursday. I have seen the cute boy in the pics. Now it would be interesting to see the new born in my hands. I love kids coz when they are around, I act as a kid myself but I like kids that are innocent. The ones that are not, I avoid them. Otherwise they start avoiding me :). Why? Ah! Now that’s a secret that I can’t share…
Saturday, March 13, 2010
DAY 310
Yesterday was one of the worse days in the history of Lahore. The whole city was under attack. People with faces full of fears & pain were wondering what is going on. This is what they want. There aim is to create fear among the public & we have such a great government that don’t even know what to do. They can just appear on TV & say the public will not be scared. How could they be scared now? They were not scared when they elected you people. Why would they be scared of bombs & terror? They wanted this. That is the only reason every time they vote for the corrupt & stupid people. GOD please help us before we find ourselves in a great trouble.
Just because of these stupid & extreme thinkers, Islam & Muslims are pictured as Terrorist. For me these are not Muslims coz the path they are walking on was never the teaching of our Holy Prophet. I wonder which books have they been reading & which teaching are they following.
Day before yesterday the stupid girl in our office & my stupid UK boss, both were laughing & joking because of that stupid boss, someone in another company was about to loose his job. He was being proud of that & joking on it. This actually made me & my friend so angry that I wish we both could smash their faces as it is a dirty job & someone has to do it but we kept quiet. My friend was so sad & was in anger yesterday morning but the thing is that we can do a lot but this will only destroy the office environment. So we both have decided that we shall wait for one good excuse & we play our cards against them.
It has been more than 3 days & that UK boss still have not made his decision as if my friend can take the day off as he wants to join me for the Karachi visit but that boss is still hanging his decision. Why can’t he just hang himself? For every decision, he needs time. What is he, a boss or an appointment? I just can’t believe it. Just say yes or no but he just doesn’t want to say anything. He can talk all the crap throughout the day but when it comes to important things, he needs time. Damn! What he need is a brain…
Just because of these stupid & extreme thinkers, Islam & Muslims are pictured as Terrorist. For me these are not Muslims coz the path they are walking on was never the teaching of our Holy Prophet. I wonder which books have they been reading & which teaching are they following.
Day before yesterday the stupid girl in our office & my stupid UK boss, both were laughing & joking because of that stupid boss, someone in another company was about to loose his job. He was being proud of that & joking on it. This actually made me & my friend so angry that I wish we both could smash their faces as it is a dirty job & someone has to do it but we kept quiet. My friend was so sad & was in anger yesterday morning but the thing is that we can do a lot but this will only destroy the office environment. So we both have decided that we shall wait for one good excuse & we play our cards against them.
It has been more than 3 days & that UK boss still have not made his decision as if my friend can take the day off as he wants to join me for the Karachi visit but that boss is still hanging his decision. Why can’t he just hang himself? For every decision, he needs time. What is he, a boss or an appointment? I just can’t believe it. Just say yes or no but he just doesn’t want to say anything. He can talk all the crap throughout the day but when it comes to important things, he needs time. Damn! What he need is a brain…
Thursday, March 11, 2010
DAY 308
Life is sometimes painful but there are always great moments too that can erase the pain or reduce it for sometimes if you start thinking about them. This is one way I try to change my mood by taking myself into dreams of those beautiful moments. Yes! I love to live in dreams. So what if I’m not being practical but this is one way I can actually enjoy life just by thinking that all is well (AAL IZ WELL). So many dreams in little heart of mine & I can’t achieve all of them. I might not be able to achieve any of them. This hurts but the dreams that I have in me, they keep giving me the strength to walk on. Some paths of life are hard to walk but once decided then why stopping. I will keep walking no matter what with just a hope in me that one day I will achieve what I want. Where there’s a will, there’s a way & I will find the way.
22 days more to go for my upcoming visit to Karachi. I’m so excited that all day long I keep planning this & that in my mind. I will do this, I will do that. I don’t even know if I be able to do all that but really would be a wonderful & one of the best moments of life if all go as per the plans. My friend has not yet decided if he will come along or not. I’m not sure why but lets see. If he doesn’t come along, I will still travel coz I have to do this. Sometimes one thing matters more than anything so yes I will go inshaAllah.
Yesterday I received a SMS from an unknown number. It was poetry, which was actually really nice. So I just asked the person who he/she was. He sent it to me by mistake but now we are invisible friends sending jokes & poetry to each other. I was never like this. I always used to be a very reserved person. Keeping all to myself & not sharing anything with anyone. I wonder how I changed. 5 years of my life I had no friends & no personal contacts. All I had in life was me sharing to myself & not letting anyone know what I went through or what I wanted but now I am changed. I say what I want & I no longer keep words in me. Whatever I feel I say it coz somehow I learnt that you should say what you want to but yes think before you speak coz right words at right moments do matter…
22 days more to go for my upcoming visit to Karachi. I’m so excited that all day long I keep planning this & that in my mind. I will do this, I will do that. I don’t even know if I be able to do all that but really would be a wonderful & one of the best moments of life if all go as per the plans. My friend has not yet decided if he will come along or not. I’m not sure why but lets see. If he doesn’t come along, I will still travel coz I have to do this. Sometimes one thing matters more than anything so yes I will go inshaAllah.
Yesterday I received a SMS from an unknown number. It was poetry, which was actually really nice. So I just asked the person who he/she was. He sent it to me by mistake but now we are invisible friends sending jokes & poetry to each other. I was never like this. I always used to be a very reserved person. Keeping all to myself & not sharing anything with anyone. I wonder how I changed. 5 years of my life I had no friends & no personal contacts. All I had in life was me sharing to myself & not letting anyone know what I went through or what I wanted but now I am changed. I say what I want & I no longer keep words in me. Whatever I feel I say it coz somehow I learnt that you should say what you want to but yes think before you speak coz right words at right moments do matter…
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
DAY 306
Yesterday I was shocked & so happy at the same time. I woke up fine in the morning with a new sunshine & everything was going cool when suddenly in the office my condition changed & I started having a severe headache with vomiting & almost very low blood pressure. So someone on SMS asked me suddenly how are you & I just told that person that I’m not feeling well. Never knew that the person would start crying because of this. Oh GOD! I was shocked & so happy to know that the person was crying on the phone just because I was not feeling well. The person actually won my heart & now I love & respect that person even more. Nobody ever cried the way that person did for me on my sickness. Wow! I would really like to thank that person from the bottom of my heart. While that happened I actually forgot my pain & started asking that person to stop crying. That cry actually gave me the strength that I needed that time & I was 80% back to my normal condition. I rode my bike back to home & the tears were my strength throughout the journey. I’m really grateful & thankful to that person for being there for me & loving me to such an extend. THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH…
Isn’t it amazing that some moments like these ones bring you so close to someone & some other moments of hate push you away from others? People keep coming in your life & keep leaving but some relations are meant for lifetime coz these relations have very strong bond of love, respect & likeness. This love sometimes brings tears in your eyes & sometimes smiles on your face. Love is really a very wonderful feeling. I think once in a lifetime everyone should experience this feeling. I know people out there won’t agree with me but I don’t care. This is really a very wonderful feeling & one of the best times of anyone’s life.
I would also like to thank my great buddy in the office for caring for me at that time & walking to my desk a few times & requesting me to rest or go home. Thank you so very much buddy. I am also thankful to ALLAH for gifting me so much loving & caring people. THANK YOU SO MUCH ALLAH…
Isn’t it amazing that some moments like these ones bring you so close to someone & some other moments of hate push you away from others? People keep coming in your life & keep leaving but some relations are meant for lifetime coz these relations have very strong bond of love, respect & likeness. This love sometimes brings tears in your eyes & sometimes smiles on your face. Love is really a very wonderful feeling. I think once in a lifetime everyone should experience this feeling. I know people out there won’t agree with me but I don’t care. This is really a very wonderful feeling & one of the best times of anyone’s life.
I would also like to thank my great buddy in the office for caring for me at that time & walking to my desk a few times & requesting me to rest or go home. Thank you so very much buddy. I am also thankful to ALLAH for gifting me so much loving & caring people. THANK YOU SO MUCH ALLAH…
Monday, March 8, 2010
DAY 305
Have you ever seen people losing themselves in life & calling other’s looser? I have. A person that is now not part of my life called me a loser few days back but wow, look at that person. That person lost good friends, caring people, loving humans & walking on a path that might lead to pain in the end coz in the end that person will find loneliness & nothing more. Meanwhile I did not loose anything but a selfish person which is a good part for me. I found a beautiful human, a fantastic twin of mine, a loving & caring person. The way I used to care for someone, now I’m getting that same care from someone. I still have my cool nice buddy with me. So how on the earth I lost? No I’m not a looser here but yes in a way you are.
Some people think I’m rude & arrogant. Yes! I am. For a selfish I’m selfish. For a rude person I’m rude. For a loving person I’m love. For an arrogant I’m an arrogant. So everyone will find something in me that belong to them. Show me your nice face & get a nice response or you are always welcome to walk the path that takes you away from me.
I don’t know why people lie & when someone points it out, they call them a liar. So someone pointed the finger at me a day back & I proved that person wrong. Then look at that person the way changed. Always ready with a childish & absolutely stupid excuse but then asks me to start behaving. Wow! What a courage. Called me a looser & called me a cheap but that person has the most cheapest excuses I have ever seen. I know why all the anger on me. Once I asked that person that has any friend of your ever left you & that person was like no never coz they all love me. Now I have actually ruined that record. I have the pleasure to be the first friend in that person’s life to leave that person. So that is the anger on me.
Two weeks back I said a line to that person that one day you will be sorry. I already see that time not far. Sooner or later that person will be sorry coz losing those that were always there in your good & bad times is hard to find. You can always find people that are there with you in your good times & then disappear in your bad ones coz even they are nothing but selfish as they always have a reason to be with you but people sticking with you without reasons, try finding them & let me know how many can you find & for how long can they bear your childish & stupid behavior. I think it’s time for you to start behaving & yes, don’t ever tell me how to live a life. I have been living it for the past 32 years by the blessing of Allah. The paths on which I have walked or the up & downs I have seen, you have not been even 5% part of it. So first learn yourself & then advise others…
Some people think I’m rude & arrogant. Yes! I am. For a selfish I’m selfish. For a rude person I’m rude. For a loving person I’m love. For an arrogant I’m an arrogant. So everyone will find something in me that belong to them. Show me your nice face & get a nice response or you are always welcome to walk the path that takes you away from me.
I don’t know why people lie & when someone points it out, they call them a liar. So someone pointed the finger at me a day back & I proved that person wrong. Then look at that person the way changed. Always ready with a childish & absolutely stupid excuse but then asks me to start behaving. Wow! What a courage. Called me a looser & called me a cheap but that person has the most cheapest excuses I have ever seen. I know why all the anger on me. Once I asked that person that has any friend of your ever left you & that person was like no never coz they all love me. Now I have actually ruined that record. I have the pleasure to be the first friend in that person’s life to leave that person. So that is the anger on me.
Two weeks back I said a line to that person that one day you will be sorry. I already see that time not far. Sooner or later that person will be sorry coz losing those that were always there in your good & bad times is hard to find. You can always find people that are there with you in your good times & then disappear in your bad ones coz even they are nothing but selfish as they always have a reason to be with you but people sticking with you without reasons, try finding them & let me know how many can you find & for how long can they bear your childish & stupid behavior. I think it’s time for you to start behaving & yes, don’t ever tell me how to live a life. I have been living it for the past 32 years by the blessing of Allah. The paths on which I have walked or the up & downs I have seen, you have not been even 5% part of it. So first learn yourself & then advise others…
Saturday, March 6, 2010
DAY 303
What a wonderful weather out there. It’s raining but slow & the breeze is so romantic. Just a few minutes back I was out there talking to very special person on the mobile while enjoying the rain & every second was a wonderful experience. The drops of water were like kissing me & the breeze was like hugging me & touching my heart. Wow! That was romantic. This weather always makes me so crazy & somehow I feel flying high in the sky & forgetting every pain of my heart. Thank you God for giving me these fantastic moments of life to enjoy.
A close friend of mine joined me on breakfast today. It was again a nice moment. He, me & my family... Oh! Yes & my cats as well, all together & having breakfast while chatting & having some funny talks. This was the second time he visited my family & now he is just like a part of my family.
The days & nights are flying away but what I’m waiting for is my upcoming trip to Karachi. I’m actually so excited to visit Karachi. It has been almost more than 5 years since I visited the city but this time it would be different & very very special moment for me. I just pray that everything goes according to the plan.
So next month Karachi, I will come (InshaAllah). Me & my same friend who joined me today for breakfast, both of us will be visiting the city & we are planning to enjoy every moment. We together have visited 2 cities & every time we had fun except the first time in Lahore but it was not coz of us, it was some other factor that made the trip not that well but still we had a great time. I see great time coming to us once again. This will be our first long trip together of almost 4 days. 2 days in travelling & 2 days in the city. I will be meeting a very special person there for the first time in life. Why this person so special? Let me explain you in this way that I will be meeting myself in Karachi. No I don’t have twin but this person is a copy of me. Every likeness matches, thinking matches & it is so true that this person is almost my twin. So I would love to meet this person coz how many times you get the chance to meet yourself. I really hope that the moment comes & leaves an impression of a life time. April would be special coz of that & then it’s May. Another wonderful month as I was born & so was my twin :) …
A close friend of mine joined me on breakfast today. It was again a nice moment. He, me & my family... Oh! Yes & my cats as well, all together & having breakfast while chatting & having some funny talks. This was the second time he visited my family & now he is just like a part of my family.
The days & nights are flying away but what I’m waiting for is my upcoming trip to Karachi. I’m actually so excited to visit Karachi. It has been almost more than 5 years since I visited the city but this time it would be different & very very special moment for me. I just pray that everything goes according to the plan.
So next month Karachi, I will come (InshaAllah). Me & my same friend who joined me today for breakfast, both of us will be visiting the city & we are planning to enjoy every moment. We together have visited 2 cities & every time we had fun except the first time in Lahore but it was not coz of us, it was some other factor that made the trip not that well but still we had a great time. I see great time coming to us once again. This will be our first long trip together of almost 4 days. 2 days in travelling & 2 days in the city. I will be meeting a very special person there for the first time in life. Why this person so special? Let me explain you in this way that I will be meeting myself in Karachi. No I don’t have twin but this person is a copy of me. Every likeness matches, thinking matches & it is so true that this person is almost my twin. So I would love to meet this person coz how many times you get the chance to meet yourself. I really hope that the moment comes & leaves an impression of a life time. April would be special coz of that & then it’s May. Another wonderful month as I was born & so was my twin :) …
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