Ten years back on 11 April, I lost my dad… After few days
after recovering, I wrote an article which I would like to share with you all.
Although it has always been there on my website man-in-brightness.webs.com/articles.html under the name of
” Tragedy as well as a reality”,
but today I like you all to read what I felt that day.
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Tragedy as well as a
reality
A man who loved me & wanted me to be with him as long
as he lived, I lost him. Yes! It’s a tragedy but as well as a reality as one
day we all have to leave this universe. It's perhaps my good luck that I was
with him till his last breath & perhaps it was my bad luck that I was
unable to do anything as first time in my life I felt useless.
11th of April 2002 was the day when for the first time I saw a death from the most near spot. Today perhaps no one can understand my feelings. Today I do believe in death. I think it was a moment that GOD conveyed a message to me that death is a reality & I must not forget.
It's really hard to loss someone you love & someone you have been watching since you were born. It's even harder to see someone you love die in your own arms but the hardest part is to hide your tears & fears when the rest of the family is looking only towards you. Being the eldest is not that easy when it comes to responsibilities. I never took any tension during my life, not even during my exams as I think I was one of those students who used to live normal lives during exams. Normal life here means the way you live while there is no exam. Life itself is an exam & every step is difficult.
Am I getting bore? Perhaps I am but today I can't help you because I'm helpless. It's really easy to say that I'm always going to be there for you but when it comes to be there, most are difficult to find but at each & every moment GOD is with you no matter you care or not.
I have seen people crying while someone dies. It's true that you can't stop your tears but it's also true that you can't bring anyone back. So, why waste tears & die with the dead one. Prayers are the best we can do for a dead one & it is something in our hands. That is perhaps the only reason I still haven't cried. It doesn't mean that I don't love my father. I think I love him a lot but how much is hard to tell, as it is hard to calculate love.
Being a Muslim I'm really proud of my father. I'm happy for him that he was buried in the Holy Land of Makkah. Many of us can just wish for it but his wish came true. Born in Gawadaspur (India), died & buried in the Holy Land of Makkah (Saudi Arabia). What else you want in life except respect & honor? This is what my father got while he left this world.
Still it's hard to believe that I lost him. While I was leaving his grave just after burying him, I was telling myself to look back as I really have lost him but I continued to walk towards the gate, as I did not want to cry. Why should I cry? I haven't lost him. He's here somewhere. I can feel him. Perhaps he's living in my memories. In fact he is living here. I can only say that I'm proud to be his son & I wish that just for once he could come back & say that he's proud of me.
--- Man In Brightness (Date: 18/04/2002)
11th of April 2002 was the day when for the first time I saw a death from the most near spot. Today perhaps no one can understand my feelings. Today I do believe in death. I think it was a moment that GOD conveyed a message to me that death is a reality & I must not forget.
It's really hard to loss someone you love & someone you have been watching since you were born. It's even harder to see someone you love die in your own arms but the hardest part is to hide your tears & fears when the rest of the family is looking only towards you. Being the eldest is not that easy when it comes to responsibilities. I never took any tension during my life, not even during my exams as I think I was one of those students who used to live normal lives during exams. Normal life here means the way you live while there is no exam. Life itself is an exam & every step is difficult.
Am I getting bore? Perhaps I am but today I can't help you because I'm helpless. It's really easy to say that I'm always going to be there for you but when it comes to be there, most are difficult to find but at each & every moment GOD is with you no matter you care or not.
I have seen people crying while someone dies. It's true that you can't stop your tears but it's also true that you can't bring anyone back. So, why waste tears & die with the dead one. Prayers are the best we can do for a dead one & it is something in our hands. That is perhaps the only reason I still haven't cried. It doesn't mean that I don't love my father. I think I love him a lot but how much is hard to tell, as it is hard to calculate love.
Being a Muslim I'm really proud of my father. I'm happy for him that he was buried in the Holy Land of Makkah. Many of us can just wish for it but his wish came true. Born in Gawadaspur (India), died & buried in the Holy Land of Makkah (Saudi Arabia). What else you want in life except respect & honor? This is what my father got while he left this world.
Still it's hard to believe that I lost him. While I was leaving his grave just after burying him, I was telling myself to look back as I really have lost him but I continued to walk towards the gate, as I did not want to cry. Why should I cry? I haven't lost him. He's here somewhere. I can feel him. Perhaps he's living in my memories. In fact he is living here. I can only say that I'm proud to be his son & I wish that just for once he could come back & say that he's proud of me.
--- Man In Brightness (Date: 18/04/2002)
