DAY 439

I blame life for being rude to me. I blame life for giving me pain & hurting me but my blames are false. It has always been my own fault. Why do I forget that happiness & me, we don’t have any relation? Why do I keep forgetting that happiness is not made for me? Why then I keep searching for it when it never belongs to me? We have no relation no nothing among us. Happiness & I, we both walk on a parallel path just like two sides of a railway track separated by moments of life. We should always walk away from each other & we should never try to reduce the distance among us otherwise the train of life will face an accident & then it will be nothing but disaster. I should not be looking for happiness. Happiness has always been faithless with me. My best friend is pain & grief. It has always been my partner since my childhood. I am lucky to have such a great partner that is always with me every moment. Whenever I tried to achieve happiness, it always ended in quick moments & then I found myself standing all alone on the same spot where I started years ago.

I was never good with relations as well. I have always lost relations like my father, mother, brother, sisters & even others. I have decided to keep myself at a distance from every human & will not allow anyone to be close to me coz who ever came close to me left me in the end no matter what. I know it was never anyone’s fault but mine coz I was the one who was already aware of the consequence but even then I let people come close to me to seek happiness but as always the result is nothing but grief. I am extremely sorry Mr. Pain that I left you for Mr. Happiness even though I knew you were always there for me & still you are. Do forgive me Mr. Pain. I will remain you best friend always.