DAY 386

Another cruel night passed away & more to come. Last night I lost. I lost my sleeps, my happiness or maybe even myself.

People say sometimes we loose something to have something better but I don’t believe this. I don’t know why it happened but I am not giving up. This bloody life doesn’t give you everything you ask for but you have to snatch it. So I will have to change it. I will have to take things forcefully from life now.

Today I am extremely missing someone. I know I can’t change time but at least I can do something to find a way and I will. Two months back someone told me that the path we are about to walk is going to be a dark one with lots of pain. My reply was that I still want to walk on it. At that time I was unaware of the level of pain I will be receiving but even if I am asked again today, my answer is still the same. I will still keep walking this path of darkness & pain. To get something you have to loose something but the way life is going at the moment, I am loosing the same that I want.

Coming 3 months are going to hell for me. It will be like me being jailed in a dark room of thoughts & helpless. I don’t know how I would spend these months but I did promise someone last night that I will take care of myself & I’m sure that person will keep the promise as well on that end. I never cry in front of anyone but last night I actually cried on phone but every tear that fall built anger in me to fight. The fight is not to live but to actually have something. I just can’t let it go. I can never forget this that someone was crying on the other side of the phone & I was not been able to wipe the tears. I can still here the cries.

Dear friend of mine, if you are reading this, always remember that this is not the end but yet another strong beginning. Why strong? Because last night’s conversation proved that we have a very strong bond in between us. So please hang in there coz I will not let you be alone at any cost.