DAY 621

This is now really getting hard for me to even write a blog. I wonder why. I have so much in me to write but I just can’t write it like maybe I don’t want to share or maybe I go blank when I start writing and than what to share.

The past days have been interesting as I manage to make some more new friends online & some of the are really great people but now if I compare my real life with my online reel life, I feel that I am much better in my reel online life. In my real life & in so many years, I only managed to make 6-7 close friends but online I have made so many. I really don’t know how these great people get so attached to me & what they actually see in me. I am noting but just a very normal human with almost no dreams. I am very scared with relation to be very honest as every time if someone has come near to my heart, no matter what he/she has said, in the end they just leave. Not blaming on them but I have a very unlucky life that keeps throwing great people out of my life. Sometimes I even feel that some out there don’t even miss me anymore as they don’t even try to check if I am ok or surviving including my own blood relations except my mom. I wish one day I could really ask them all that am I that bad that you people just left me & never even care to ask me who I am. I guess I am really bad.

Yesterday, for the first time in my life, I skipped an educational exam. I was not prepared for it so I just skipped it. Never happened in my life before but first time for everything I guess.

Recently I and my friends have started a competition (Hottest male JAN 2011) on 2 different pages of Facebook On both the pages, the creators insisted that I should participate. It is now the 2nd day & till now I am leading on both the pages but on the same time I can loose any day coz I know there are much better people than me. I even noticed that some males did not participate or withdraw as they thought no body is going to vote for them. For me, Winning or loosing is not important. The important thing is that we take part in a competition which proves that we do have the courage & power to face a challenge. At least we do try in this way. The one who tries, do win sooner or later. I know I am excited about it but even if I loose, I will not be heart broken coz I was standing among 38 people to face the challenge. For me all these are winners.