DAY 392

Another painful night passed by and it is not stopping. Last night at around 2am I again went into a health condition where you feel life is going to end but only good things end early. The bad ones don’t go away so soon.

A friend of mine emailed me & told me that I am at mistake. Yes! This is true. I am at mistake. According to the email, I should not complain to GOD. This is right but we only complain to those who we think are our own. It’s even my fault as I knew the path I have chosen was directed to pain. I knew it & I kept walking on it & now when I am in pain, why do I complain? Damn! It’s all my own fault. Yes! I did all this to myself.

So now what? Well! Nothing of course. I wanted to walk on this path so here I am walking. I wanted to have pain so there I am. I have a great pain in me. I guess I am not a looser after all. At least I did achieve what I wanted.

I do apologize to everyone if any of the content written here has hurt you or your feelings. I will try not to hurt anyone thorough my stupid blogs. Also my aim of writing was not at all to gather sympathy or anything like that. I only wrote so I could reduce my pain or I could get it off my chest but neither of that happened.

Another friend of mine also going through a painful process of life & when that friend share things with me, I lie & tell that friend that don’t worry, everything will be fine while deep inside my heart I know that nothing will be fine. Yes! I have lost hopes. If someone tells me that everything will be fine, I actually tell them rudely that don’t lie to me please.

I don’t want anyone to say sorry to me please. I can understand that why some decisions were taken in life.