Back to the same stage where I was somewhere back in May last year when I wanted to hate everyone & wanted to leave everything & go away. Don’t know why my path of life keeps coming to this roundabout after every nick of time. I’m now feeling strange inside. Don’t want to talk about it coz I don’t even know what to talk about. Want to keep quiet & away from everyone till I overcome this moment coz during these moments, I always turn into an irritating & angry person. To be very honest, I hate my anger. It burns everything. Most of the time it burns relations & this is what I don’t want to loose. So I plan to stay quiet & not to get involved in conversations that can end into a breakup of any relation coz when I am angry, I don’t care about anything. I say hell to this world.
By the way, the world is already hell. Oh! Hell reminds me of the pain I still have. What a wonderful feeling of pain I have. In the beginning I really hated the pain in my knees but now I seem to enjoy it. When it hurts I start playing cricket or start walking around so I can tell the pain that it can go to hell and I will fight with it all alone. I hate doctors so no doctors for me. I fix myself or I wait for my fate but I will fight it as long as I can.
Eid is almost 9 days away but I still have not shopped & honestly I am not feeling. Don’t know why but I don’t want to go out there & shop. I just don’t know why but seems like I hate shopping or maybe myself. Hating myself is better coz when one hates himself, he don’t listen to his heart specially. Regarding me, me being so stupid & always listening to my heart always end up in pain.
Wow what a painful blog it is. See, I have a very strong bond with pain. It is always with me in almost every blog of mine :) What a lovely friend I have…
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