DAY 118

A dream woke me up early this morning at 07:30. Every unusual for me indeed because I mostly wake up at 10:30. A very strange & painful dream that scared & hurt me. It all started with me standing all alone in a huge crowd in the house. I saw people all around me. Laughing, teasing, giggling, chatting & having fun but me standing all alone & with a secret in my heart. Then a flashback… Someone is telling me that the person I loved the most (My father) is going to be hanged. This has been ordered by the court. I am looking at the face of that person with a question mark expression that how come. He has passed away long time back. Did he not? Was he here all the time? Did he come back from it? But no answers only questions.

Now back in the crowd standing all alone starring at my surrounding. Then I stepped into the crowd & started finding my family members. Searching for them in every corner of the house. Finding them all in different locations having fun with people around them & enjoying. I wanted to gather them at one location to inform them but I could not as if something was stopping me.

I started looking for my mom & spotted her in the crowd but when I reached near her, she disappeared. With pain on my face, I started looking all over & came to a closed door. I opened it & there I entered in a room. I saw my mom lying on the bed & sleeping. I approached her with pain & woke her up. She looked at me. I told her regarding Father & she started to cry. I hugged her & while doing that asking her to be brave and adding a line saying that he came from death before & he will do it again, don’t worry. Then I asked her to rest & let me get others so I can inform them as well. I stepped out the room in the same loudly crowd in search of my blood relations. I was still unable to gather them at one point. When I looked at their faces, all of them were so happy & enjoying that I could not tell them a thing. I left the house & the scene changes.

I’m somewhere in a hallway. There are three to four people telling me the story that how someone framed my father in this mess. I am starring at them with no expressions like if I am dead but still standing there & listening to every word they say. After all that, one of them pointed at one direction & while saying that there is your father. I looked at that direction & saw him sitting there beside a wall with a mixture of expressions on his face & reciting the verses of the Holy Quran. I walked towards him & when he saw me approaching, he stood up & I hugged him while saying, you came back before & you can do it again. Just be brave & leave it in the court of the Almighty. He said nothing & then we walked towards a huge hall. Entering there I saw few others sitting beside the walls with tensed faces like if they will be punished too.

We were standing there looking at each other when suddenly the door opens & two judges, a police officer & few others entered the hall. They looked at my father as if it is the time. I hugged him again & asked him be brave & had a hand shake & was about to leave when the police officer stopped me as if he wanted me to stay & watch. I tired to get my hand released as I could never see that but was not able too. A person gave my father a piece of paper & asked him to sign. This was the first time when my father spoke & asked him where to sign but as soon as he said that, tears started slipping down from his eyes & in so many quantity that his shirt got all wet & I ran towards him while getting my hand released by the officer & I hugged him so hard while hiding my face & turning it to the other side because at this moment I could not be brave myself & I was not able to hide my expressions.

Then I woke up while looking around me as if I am still searching for my father. GOD it was a dream. Was it? If yes then why I feel tears scrolling down? I looked outside the room & looked up the sky with a pain in my heart & I started reciting the Holy Quran. GOD I still feel that pain & really don’t know what to do. I have not shared this dream with any one as I just can’t tell. So I am writing it. The pain does not allow me to speak it out & the hidden truth in my heart is something I cannot revel. After that I did try to sleep but just could not coz whenever I was trying to close my eyes, I saw my father crying… Guess! I would never be able to sleep now…