DAY 211

I really hate long gaps on my blog but sometimes I feel that have nothing to share. Sometimes I want to share but can’t share as it gets hard for me to find words from the vocabulary to express my feelings. Sometimes feelings cannot be expressed with the help of letters, words or sentences. I even don’t want to share bad moments or sad moments on my blog but damn my life still takes me through the path of pain & sadness. In my life I did bad things to people so now in return I’m being punished & actually things go wrong with me too. Why I wrote & share this? I just want to tell you that if you will hurt someone today, you will get hurt yourself later.

I want to make some real tough decisions in my life right now. These decisions would hurt others but I will get hurt the most. So I’m again going to hurt people & sooner or later I would get hurt myself. I am just waiting for the right time to hurt myself.

Since last Sunday, I have been in a different state of mind. Not being a normal person. A few things & words in life have converted me to an abnormal person. People are asking to be back to normal but people can always say things to you but no one can show you the exact path to walk on. I don’t take advises because I mostly don’t follow them. I mostly follow my heart but for the past few days, I’m not even doing that.

I asked a family member to put a question on Facebook & I wanted to see what people will reply. The question was, “In the fight of heart & brain, who loose?” Almost all of them said brain. I was amused as I never thought that still a huge amount of people do take decisions following their heart. Well! The answer was incorrect as in a fight of brain & heart the looser in the end is always the human. I have been going through this fight moment for the past 5 days & I can even see myself loosing in the end if any of them wins. This fight is changing my behavior & due to this I’m converting into a rude & a harsh person. I wish I could stop this but I just can’t. See I told you I’m loosing…