It’s been days since I wrote something here. You can say my laziness or you can say anything but I really wanted to write everyday & I just could not.
Today I am really hurt as I am not able to help a friend out of miseries. I tried as much as I could but I failed. Today my friend begged me not to do anything & leave her alone. It hurts even more when someone begs u to leave. I really can’t explain my emotions right now. I wish I could convert them into words & sentences but I just can’t. So I even failed to convert.
Why this world is like this? Why we are so selfish? Why can’t we keep others happy? Why do we play with hearts? Why we hurt others & leave like nothing happened? Even I am one of them. I hurt people & I left them alone. I hate myself more than any other but even hurt when someone else hurt my friend. I wish I was something different. I wish I had not done the same to others so today at least I could shoot at them, call them names, abuse them or hate them. But who to hate, who to abuse, I myself is the part of that generation.
Since last week my friend is going through hell & I have been there to make her believe that be positive, the world is not ended, life goes on, trust in GOD, start all over, tried by logic, tired by words, tried by jokes but failed in the end. Really hate myself today because now she begs me to leave her alone in this. Leaving a friend alone in problems means that you are not a friend because you were not there when needed the most. Should I leave? Why should I? Even if I should, will it change the life? Is it going to make a difference if I stay? Maybe & maybe not but I can at least try but how would I do that when I’m not even allowed to. I can’t believe that someone says to me that I request you, beg you to leave me alone in this… I just can’t, can I? Maybe I can because even I’m a selfish person. Even I hurt so many out there so what difference it’s going to make this time.
Yes! Now I know why my family really hates me. My brother wants time to think to start a relation with me. My sisters & my mom are just there but no where in my life. You know why? Because I think even they want to request me to leave. So people I will leave someday but after I go, remember it will again not make a difference in anyone’s life but if by my going, someone is happy, I love to leave this world but until I don’t leave you can always pray for my death.
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