DAY 116

Life is so fast nowadays. Days are going away and every night when I go to sleep, clouds of thoughts cover my brain & I always think that I have spent almost half of my average life & I’m still no one. I’m still nothing to be very honest. This thought creates a power in me to live the next day so I can try achieving my goals in life. I think everyone should think at least for a minute before sleeping that what have been achieved in life & what have been lost.

What I have lost mostly are relations. Some of my relations are lost because I hate interference in my personal life. Some of my relations are lost as I just let them go as I never asked anyone to be my friend or stay in a relation with me. The only person I ever asked in my life was my younger brother for a friendship. It was the first & the last time ever in life that I made that attempt. Why? Not because I lost but just because it’s not my nature to ask anyone for friendship.

One of my close relative always keeps on interfering in my personal life. I know I made my life this way & if I had, I will fix it myself as I never asked for anyone’s help. Then why offering me help? If I want, I will ask otherwise please let me live my life the way I want. Either it’s a wrong path or the right one, I will be held responsible. I don’t really like helps from others. I want to do it all by myself because I did it before & I can do it again. If I can destroy my life all by myself then I can even create my life all by myself. These things irritate me & at some stage I just let the relation go away. Leaving comments on my blog & trying to tell the whole world that what have I done, do you think that will help? Is that you call help? Yes I have done lots of wrong things in life but no one is clean here. At some stage of life everyone makes mistake but it never means that you start pointing those mistakes in public & then say you want to help. I’m afraid if that is help then I really don’t need one. I’m better without it.

If I write that I’m sad in any of my blogs, the comments will be “You will be sad as you had made a huge mistake in life”. If I write I’m happy on my blog, the comments will be “How could you be happy while making other’s sad”. Guess what I am happy by making other’s sad. You know what? It gives me pleasure to hurt people because I really don’t care anymore. I don’t want anything. No happiness, no sadness, no relations, no friends no nothing. How is that? You happy now???